The Funny Side of DICON™
What is DICON?
Q: DICON? I thought it was DICOM. With an M.
A: Nope, it’s DICON… unless you actually know what you’re talking about. THEN, it’s DICOM. (Read the Disclaimer below.)
Unique Haiku
Find the right study
Which element is unique?
Instance UID?
Duplicates Haiku
Now, wait a minute:
(0020,000D) seems familiar.
Stupid duplicates.
Dentist Joke
Q: What do dentists call their x-ray images?
A: Tooth pics.
Rejection Joke
Did you hear the one about the rejected association? What, too soon?
Sophisticated Society Joke
Q: How do you make a good port wine?
A: Attach a DICOM archive to it and send it an HTTP request.
Definitions
RSNA = Real System Not Available (Anonymous)
PACS = Pain And Constant Suffering (Derek Mize, CHI, TN)
Group 28 Joke
Q: What’s black and white and red all over?
A: A SOP instance for an 8-bit grayscale CT image with incorrect values for about 8 different Group 28 elements.
Snacking
Q: Is there a recommended snack while using DICON?
A: Yes, the preferred and most delicious food for any DICON user is Dicon (known also as Chinese radish, sometimes misspelled Daikon).
Psychiatrist Joke
This lady is distraught and goes to her psychiatrist for advice. Says to the psychiatrist, “Doc, I’m really concerned. I’m not sure what to do about my new boyfriend. He’s a DICON programmer, but he’s also a drug dealer, an inside trader, a domestic terrorist, a tree hugger, a trial attorney and a tobacco industry lobbyist.” “I see. So, what is your concern?” says the psychiatrist. “Well, he’s meeting my parents for the first time and I want to know if I should tell them that he’s a DICON programmer.”
DICON Programmer Threat Levels
LimerickThere once was a PACS from Nantucket Deep ThoughtPDU replay capturing is a great tool for aggression testing. Holiday Song
|
10 | You decided to print out PS3.3. |
9 | You frequently consider what other types of data you could put into the pixel data tag. |
8 | You attend your company Halloween party as the DICONATOR. |
7 | You use the Ultrasound Multi-frame Image Storage abstract syntax like it’s going out of style. |
6 | Conformance claim? My dog ate it. |
5 | You’re not using the DICOM Connectivity Framework from Laurel Bridge Software to develop your app. (Sorry, the marketing dept. made me put this one in because they thought having a page of DICOM jokes was stupid.) |
4 | You turn to George Clooney* for DICOM advice. |
3 | You use instance UIDs as primary keys in the database. |
2 | Transfer Syntax? Schmansfer Syntax. |
1 | Annotations? You burn ’em in. |
Look Both Ways
Q: Why did the DICON cross the road?
A: To find the store with the lossless compression transfer syntax.
Knock Knock Jokes
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
HIPAA
HIPPA who?
I can’t tell you that.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
DICON
DICON who?
The Wrath of DICON
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
DICON
DICON who?
DICON’t remember my SOP Instance UID!
Radiologist Jokes
You Know You’re a Radiologist When…
Written by Amir Fuad
- you switch off all the room lights when watching TV or when you are at the computer.
- the strawberry milkshake at McDonald’s turns you off (It looks like a barium preparation for a swallow).
- someone asks a favour from you in the middle of the night, you say, “Will it make much of a difference if I do it for you tomorrow morning, instead?”
- someone asks you to comment on a picture, you use words like “soft”, “too noisy”, “motion blurring”, etc.
- you refer to dust on your wedding photo as “artifacts”.
- your spouse asks you how your day was, you describe it in detail and sum it up by giving an overall impression.
- you always wonder what’s that thing hanging around other doctor’s necks, and then suddenly it hits you – it’s a stethoscope!
- every time you see other people’s hands, you think to yourself, “Mmmmm…good veins!”.
- someone asks you what’s the best contraceptive, you say, “X-ray”.
- in order to drive the point home that your spouse took too many photos with the camera, you do a reject analysis.
Radiologist Diagnosis… Oh, Snap!
A radiology technician in a hospital emergency room took X rays of a trauma patient. The tech brought the films to the radiologist, who studied the multiple fractures of both femurs and pelvis.
“What happened to this patient?” the radiologist asked in astonishment.
“He fell out of a tree,” the tech replied.
“What was he doing up in a tree?”
“I’m not sure, but his paperwork states he works for Acme Tree Experts.”
Gazing intently at the X rays, the radiologist blinked and said, “Cross out ‘experts.'”
Explanation
We know, we know. DICOM humor? DICOM jokes? Truth is, when you’re writing DICOM, or as we like to call it, DICONTM, code all day you need an outlet. We suggested beer. Boss said no. So, we’re left with these DICON jokes, presented for your “enjoyment.” BTW, you can submit a DICON joke to us if you like, but why would you?
And because radiologists use DICON and the results of all the hard work of countless DICON programmers, we have also included selected radiologist humor, for which we humbly apologize.
Helpful Tool for Bad DICON Jokes
We have found that this tool is helpful when negotiating bad all DICON jokes. It might make some of them actually seem funny. Just in case, we also recommend this tool.
Disclaimer
DICONTM is an un-registered, albeit highly satirical, trademark of Laurel Bridge Software, Inc., and now just in case Yanny Bridge Software, Inc., and is intended for use only when referring to what some call “DICOM” software. But you, I, and Steve Minner know better, now don’t we? Proof is left as an exercise to the reader. This disclaimer is included here because we noticed, much to our surprise, that a Google search for DICON results in over 300,000 hits. Who knew? So, with this page we hope we can add to the confusion by providing these DICOM jokes.
Some of the material above is not original. Whenever possible we have identified the original author and provided a link to the original source material. Let us know if we have not provided proper credit and we will gladly do so.
*George Clooney is not affiliated with David Clunie, so far as we know. Clunie flies planes while Clooney flies motorcycles.
Submissions
If you truly feel the need to share your DICOM joke with us, we welcome you to submit them to our jokemaster and then promptly seek DICOM humor counseling.